Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Reflection:
It was Father's Day last week. Nagdalawang-isip ako if I was going to greet my father and my grandfather a happy father's day. The thing was, madalas kong naiisip that they never were good fathers anyway. They are irresponsible dads. May mga anak sila sa labas (illegitimate offsprings). I've always thought that my grandfather never took good care of my Lola hanggang sa nagkasakit ang grandmother ko and passed away. As for my dad, same thing. Hindi na nga niya inalagaan nang maayos ang mga sarili niyang anak and worse, he chose to have illegitimate offsprings - not one, but three! And he's trying really hard to become a good father to these three kids. As if! And when I say trying really hard, I meant going to different people borrowing money just so may pambili ng every-day-food yung mga anak niya sa labas and diapers para dun sa bunso niyang anak sa labas. Back to basics as they say. Well, isang malaking good luck na lang sa kanya.
As for my grandfather, hindi naman talaga siya inaalagaan ng mga anak niya sa labas. Pumupunta lang dito sa bahay yung mga iyon hoping na may iaabot na pera ang Lolo ko. The nerve, right? There were a couple of times nga na sa akin pa humingi ang Lolo ko ng pang-merienda ng mga anak niya sa labas na mas matanda pa sa akin. At first, sobrang sumama ang loob ko. Pero inisip ko na lang na minsan lang naman humingi ng money ang Lolo ko sa akin and I would do it for him, syempre I gave in to his request. Basta I programmed my mind na lang na ang Lolo ko naman ang bibigyan ko ng money. Ngayon, bahala na siya kung saan and paano niya gagamitin yung pera.
As I share with you this story, sumasakit ang ulo ko. Maybe naha-highblood ulit ako kasi bumabalik na naman ang galit ko. Ha-ha. No wonder my Lola got sick because of depression (?) and died. Anyway, bago pa man lumala ang highblood ko ngayon, ipo-program ko na lang ulit ang mind ko to forgive my dad and my Lolo. Meditating.. Breathing exercise..
Going back nung Father's Day, I asked myself why I was mad again? Inisip ko na lang that no one is perfect. There were a couple of times naman that my dad tried to reach out to me and my sister. Nag-isip na lang ako ng mga magagandang bagay na ginawa ng father ko although it took me some time para makapag-isip ng kung ano nga yung mga iyon. Ha-ha. As for my Lolo, inisip ko na lang na since malapit na rin naman siya mamatay kasi matanda na siya, I might as well forgive him (again) sa mga shortcomings niya sa Lola ko. At the end, I greeted these two people a Happy Father's Day.
Oh yeah, I have a crazy family. Ha-ha.
Forgiveness does not happen once. Iyan naman talaga ang totoo. Yung ex-bf ko nga na si Joel, hindi ko na rin mabilang kung ilang beses ko siya pinatawad for not forgiving me. Pathetic noh? Just a few days ago, he came up with a new label to call me - "selfish creature". I've been wondering nga when he said creature, did he mean a monster, an animal, or what? It's going 11 months since HE LEFT ME. I guess mapapatawad nga lang niya ako kung patay na ko. Pero hindi ba niya nare-realize na by holding grudges against me, pwede siyang magka-cancer in the long run? I mean, it's been scientifically and medically said na holding too many emotional burdens inside you can cause cancer and other diseases? So baka siya pa ang maunang mamatay sa 'kin niyan? Paano pa niya ako mapapatawad? Oh well, "we can never can tell".
Alam niyo guys, having grudges against other people will not do you any good. Worse, kayo pa ang maaapektuhan for not learning to forgive those who have done you wrong. Trust me. I should know. God never said na it is always easy to forgive. But He commanded us to do it nevertheless. Try to forgive once. The next time na nakakaramdam kayo ng galit sa similar na tao na pinatawad mo na, FORGIVE THAT PERSON AGAIN...and again and again.
Dati, madalas akong galit. Galit ako sa madaming tao and bagay. Anong napala ko? I was sick most of the time. I became unproductive. In short, I was the loser.
When I realized that I needed to change my life and wanted to have a better one, doon ko natutunan na in order for me to accomplish those two things, kailangan ko muna i-let go yung mga bigat ng kalooban ko. Otherwise, those heavy feelings will continue to pull me back.
I am not saying na I already mastered the art of forgiving. I wrote this to serve as reminder to all of us. If you want a better life, FORGIVE! :)
